Jack Saint

Misc. Writing

The Cheese Mother Files

April 9th, 2010

Rated T for:

Violence, Mild Language

CREDITS
Jack Saint: Everything

Some horrifying thing Jack made based off some of Nate's characters. It remains a mystery to this day.

On February 5th 2010, a disturbing turn of events were revealed, the only factual evidence based on text messages and mail.

Dear Papa,
I have to find my cheesemama. You kept her a secret from me Papa and now I will find her with my pet duck Cheddar! I will never write again Papa! Farewell!

~ Stay Frosty,
Boomjiggle
Dear Papa,
I need busfare the lady asked for money or cheese so I spat in her face the police are looking papa I need money and cheese send it over I will never write again!

~ Stay Frosty,
Boomjiggle (Cheddar says quack i dunno)
Dear Papa,
The joke's on you, I found my lightsabre and now I will find cheesemama! I sacrificed Cheddar for warmth but twas not for nought! The buslady has a flashlight i'm jumping out the window I will never write again!

~ Stay Frosty,
Boomjiggle (cheese)
Dear Boomjiggle,
Never write here again.

Papa.
Dear Papa,
Thank you for writing to me, Papa! I've made it to mexico but no nachocheese, send nachocheese. cheesemama is in brazil I KNOW IT the mexicans have maracas I tried to eat it but twas indeed for nought! its hard to write running i dropped my pencil im writing with tears! I will never write here again!

~ Stay Frosty,
Boomjiggle (ps cheddar says hi hes back)
Dear Boomjiggle,
No.

Papa.
Dear Daddy Longlegs,
I know that's you darlin', it's me cheesemama. I heard Boomjig' was lookin' fer me. Well I hav' a shotgun I wonda what he'll have to say about that nothin' because i'll shoot 'im. Warn him first I love it when they do the crabwalk (ps remember 1968 good year right?) later picklepie (ps remember 1991 boomjiggle was so cute)

love cheesemama
Dear Cheesemama,
I have no interest, you fucking whore.

Papa.
To Boomjiggle Hubert Nathan,
The United States Postal Services refuses to mail your spam any longer. The restraining order is still in effect, from 01/24/07 to 01/24/11 this will continue to be in effect.

The USPS.
Dear Papa,
I'm rocking the show! Mama has a gun you should have warned me sir but i reflected her with cheddars body and my lightsabre im so hungry if you know what i mean and what who im bleeding call the hospital please send them to Caliente Street, Mexico tell Philadelphia Dog i'll be home soon god the bleeding i lo

~ Stay Frosty,
Boomjiggle
Dear Fappy Daddy,
It's me lovelion, cheesemama. I'm lining up the shot hang on okay got 'im now we can start our new life right hang on tracys calling ill be right back okay im back wait what woah banana peel am i right (just like 1976, year of the monkey right ;) ) okay im going now before i go fuck fuck fuck fuck fu
To Mike Weber Nathan,
So far everyone who has been reguarly messaging you has been imprisoned recently. For your own safety, you will be contained in a cell from 02/04/10 to 02/06/10 in Winchesterton Police Station Iowa. We apologise for the inconvienience.

The USPS.
Dear Cheesesistah,
its me tracy CAN I call u sory im so stresd 2day boby lft me munchy so i caled carlos but hes BUSY!!! again) so when can i see u ps the pig is in the blanket
Dear Papa,
I see the light. I'm walking to it now. I see you now. Let me have the cheese. Today.

~ Stay Frosty,
Boomjiggle
Dear Boomjiggle,
What the fuck do you mean? Are you in the area? What's going on?

Papa.
Dear Cheddar,
It's been a while since you've written to me. Where are you?

- Philadelphia Dog
dear tracy its me cheesemama can u get the pig to me today? im so hungry for ham i love all the kinds if you know what i mean where is the pig OH MAN THERE HE IS i see him tracy hes staring at me
boomjiggle?
dear chesesistah
wats up it tracy wat going on??? caling the polce oh wit ur in jail i gues youre scrwed lol!! ps carlos says hi
Dear Cheesemama,
I found your address, it's me Boomjiggle. I'll make you and Papa one now. Papa is only half now. You will be Forever Young, like the song. I want cheese so much right now.

~ Stay Frosty,
Boomjiggle

As of April 9th 2010, no sightings of Boomjiggle Hubert Nathan, Mike Weber Nathan, Julia Morris (AKA Cheesemama) or Tracy Stockholm have been found. When last the Nathan Residence was searched, all that was found was the family dog (Philadelphia Dog), one bloodied Star Wars Lightsabre and a cut wheel of Brie. The investigation is ongoing.